Wednesday, May 31, 2006
amaechi
one of my favorite words.'who knows tomorrow'
lauren alyse belle at 9:24 PM
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
i guess i must be crazy.
i don't like gnarls barkley at all.i already wasn't a fan of any of ceelo's solo efforts and i can count his collaborations with DF and others that i fancy on one hand. (liberation, slum beautiful, cell therapy...)
his voice annoys the shit out of me & it's especially bothersome when he's singing.
but really i wish everyone would shut up about them.
and yo, after seeing his daughter on my sweet 16, i really don't endorse this guy. that and the fact that my brother, who works as a curbside check-in service person at the atlanta air port, once assisted cee-lo with his bags to his car, more than likely because he thought it would render tips, and said he was disgusted because the car's interior was disgusting and filled with trash and snacks and shit..and he gave a shitty tip.
anyway pull up to my bumper is #1 in my itunes and i just uploaded it today.
lauren alyse belle at 11:56 PM
le ciel est la limite
for you uncultured bammas,the sky is the limit.cute, huh?
it's the new theme of the blog.
no updates with school stuff, but my glass is still half full.
i haven't heard any feedback from school whatever, so I refuse to stress about it until I have a reason. when i was sleeping on esi's couch and unsure about my status this time last summer i worried so hard i got welps all over. that was so shitty. i thought i was allergic to her cats.
One thing I decided though is that I'm going to stay in NY and make that work for atleast this year. There's no point in transfering again when I could just take a shitload of classes and probably knock out my degree in a couple more semesters. I wish I'd have known, I'd be in summer courses right now.
anyway, today was cool. me, khadi & ryan went thrifting. it's one thing cincinnati is good for because unlike new york vintage isn't exactly in. there tends to be a plethora of items but I mostly stock up on graphic tees from the boys section. well, that and scarves from the 70's and occasionally, novelty jewelry. i scored today. perhaps i'll post the pictures of my new shoes, a stylish take on the jesus sandal.
additionally, i had a banging ass burrito that reaffirmed my love for the cuisine this city has to offer. we discussed how it probably has much to do with the real power of word of mouth in medium cities. bad reviews spread like wild fire so we only deal with the best of the best. i'm not even talking chains here (something I came to realize is a pretty bamma concept, getting psyched over red lobsters? yea, thats lame. thanks okayplayer for making me reevaluate my standards). food in ny is more often than not mediocre and trying something new, innocent as it is, can be disasterous. plus things tend to be too expensive and dare i say bland.
i'm from the land of oprah's favorite ice cream
that says something, no?
lauren alyse belle at 9:04 PM
Sunday, May 28, 2006
so i think i lost my scholarship
the rules are: no c'sand i got one.
in african dance.
i really can't fathom why unless she has some strict absence policy that i wasnt privy to..or it was a straight up mistake.. but either way, i've made efforts to contact her in every way possible sans snail mail, so one can only wait and bleed.
quite frankly I don't even want to be on the scholarship. i've been through more stressful trials and tribulations last school year because of administrative bullshit rather than academics. I think if I were paying for it and didn't have to adhere to there rules my life would be that much easier. It sucks making an hour commute home only to get off the train to recieve a voice mail stating theres a mandatory meeting in 1 hour and subsequently rushing back on the train to school and having to sit through some bullshit about making sure we're being good citizens. Plus, doing this was only an effort to ease financial strain, a compromise I was willing to make because I figured--hey, I sort of dig international studies-- but quite frankly, it's not worth it.
Everyone (read: my mother and boyfriend) seems to think I have all of these options. But in reality even moving home isn't one because I already know what UC is like and it's not exactly something I want to go back to. I don't feel prepared enough to just move to a new city all together and I fear it's too late to even try. I definately want to stay in school and I believe it's too late to apply any place, especially looking for scholarships.
So where does that leave me? I've considered simply staying at my matriculated school and paying the tuition out of pocket, taking as many credits as possible in an attempt to get out asap. It's only $4,xxx something for in state students, which I will be starting August 17th. UC is 9,xxx for in state students, and even though the cost of living is substantially cheaper I believe NYC may be the way to go.
I'm not speaking to my mother at this point and I'm seriously contemplating taking a greyhound back. It leaves in 5 hours so I figure if I'm still heated by then I'll just bounce. Why I scheduled a 2 week trip here is beyond me anyway, then again who knew I'd get this news while I was here. I'm sure tuesday I'll recieve numerous calls and emails filled with panic and/or apologies about my dismissal. I don't know what will happen..even if the professor agrees to change my grade my academic advisors still may use the opportunity to kick me out. I think they've been waiting for one. But, back to my mother. I renewed my fafsa yesterday and my expected family contribution is approaching 18,000 and thats after we lied about the net worth of properties. Clearly uncle sam isn't giving me any need based funds. However, she's adamant about not having money to pay for school and saying all she can do is "help". I barely have a pot to piss in and she wants to give me toilet paper? Our house is gorgeous and her material goods spectacular, but she can't afford to pay for my education. I'm confused.
She keeps saying I'm blaming her for my problems and I need to own up to my mistakes but I refuse. I shouldn't feel bad about getting a C in gym. Who cares.. I've aced all of my academic subjects, a feat considering how much I detest the school & classes I was forced to take. She also infered that I'm not a stable investment because, as she put it, "Why would I take out loans for thousands of dollars when a year from now you may be in Timbuktu". So, basically, because I fucked up on my scholarship that saved her thousands upon thousands in the first place she can't contribute to me furthering my education. And I'm in such a position where I can't get any loans of my own..
One of 2 things can happen at this point.
The professor can change my grade and I'll continue down a track that I feel is breaking my spirit.
or
I can move back home, get a job, and... well... work.
Oh my options are just soo limitless!
lauren alyse belle at 10:53 AM
Friday, May 26, 2006
x-men was good
my only substantial complaint is that omahyra didn't speak despite her visibility. she looked gooder than a mug though, so did rebecca romjin.I used to be really into the comic books because Storm was a personal hero.. as a girl I was all about bad ass black women, so yea. But I thought it was pretty much on point. Except the ending was trying so hard to make us think there could be another installment that it was kind of bad. Like, since that was obviously what they wanted to do they should have just let Phoenix's end come how it was written. Ahh I won't spoil it, but once any of you read it, lets chit chat about it.
lauren alyse belle at 5:31 PM
i'm on that beyonce
so since march 12th i've lost 23 pounds (10.4 kg, lol) going from 152 to 129..and at 5'9", thats just kind of disgusting.during my doctors appointment i felt a little reluctant to step on the scale cause i never really want to know
but i was shocked when it didn't continue once it hit 129...
i blame austria, since because of bird flu they didn't serve any chicken and veal, venison, lamb & pork chops are all inedible mystery meats to me. i survived off of fruit and bread. but, i should have regained by now.
i suppose it isn't that bad because i had no idea. i mean my clothing doesnt necessarily fit any different and i dont appear or feel any different, i think.
but those numbers..sheesh.
im glad i'm home cause my mama feeds me.
lauren alyse belle at 5:21 PM
Thursday, May 25, 2006
wtf
i've been sitting in darkness for hours. i forgot this shit happens since i moved to the modern world. it went from being mass* sunny and hot to a fucking tsunami. The power went out and we anticipated it would be back on in no time. four hours later niggas started to get pissed. i need to email this paper to my professor so we were on our way to a wifi zone and suddenly the lights came back on.that shit kinda sucked.. it would've been nice if i didn't have shit to do..but now i have to give a "my dog at the homework" excuse and it sucks because i'm being sincere.
oh well
lauren alyse belle at 7:39 PM
if it's worth yo while than say somethin
i like this mariah video. my aunt says, "why she always in a swimming suit in her videos, i don't see any water (oops)". Anyway, I remember the gossip circuit saying Mariah and Pharrell were together and they were using pictures in paris for evidence. Clearly they were from this video. So I guess I wasted my tears. Just kidding.I'm in ohio fronting like I'm done with the school but it's 3:19 (one of the numbers I play when i do the lottery, thanks to prince) and I had a take home due at 9:30 this morning.
I need to get on it but it's hard with all these family related distractions.
I went to my cousin kellen's birthday party yesterday. I'd told everyone I wasn't coming back to cincinnati until D was here cause I didn't wanna waste the money making 2 trips. So mofos were like where is this guy? Like..they weren't happy to see me. Anyway, his circle of friends continues to get younger and younger every year..not cute. My friend naomi wasn't feeling the party, probably because nobody was paying her any attention. I love her but shit, the party wasn't enjoyable because she kept talking about how unenjoyable it was.
Quite frankly I just like going to those parties to see people I didn't like in high school and hope they ask what I've been up to so I can say "Well, i live in new york, i go to school for free & i have an awesome boyfriend, you?". I mean, if you know me you know I hate new york, i hate my school & he's transatlantic. But, they don't know all that.. :)
I'm getting a tattoo today with jordan. It's how we bound I suppose. I'm going to get a sizable "Belle" in cursive on my thigh like a hood chick. I know I said I'd wait.. but I don't have anything else to do.
Ok, I need to work on this test. This blog feels so rushed. I'm revisit later.
lauren alyse belle at 12:04 PM
Monday, May 22, 2006
Spring Blossoms
Ernest AttahShall I compare thee,
Fair creature of an hour,
To a spring blossom,
Bursting forth in lovely splendor,
Or yet shall I,
Thou apple of my eye,
Compare thy charms,
To the silvery moon on a summer's eve?
No, I won't-go wash off thy disgusting make-up.
---
I was having an awful day until I read that. Now that's going to lead me to 2 different tangents.
1. My school fucked me over. To make a long story short they think I'm at risk & won't pay for my study abroad until my grades are in, two weeks from now. Yet the deadline for payment is next week, and they told me this today. My only option is to pay for it & they'll reemburse me if my grades indeed prove to be exemplary. Meanwhile, I'm confident that I'll have a 4.0. I wonder why I wasn't at risk when the trips were to Europe. Anyway, I was distraught because I wasn't sure were the money was going to come from. I certainly couldn't come up with $2,600 in less than a week and I felt betrayed that they'd pull something like that on me. I even flirted with the idea of leaving the program. I guess it's important to note that a month ago I was given 2 options, attending summer school or study abroad. I opted to do the latter & now it's too late to do classes & I simply don't want to. But doing something is mandatory. So, for about 4 hours today I was crying and worrying to death because I felt trapped. Like, suddenly I had to come up with over 2 stacks. Seems like a pretty fucked up thing to do to a student during finals week, but whatever. My mom said she'll front me the money. I tend to stress about money a lot, simply because i never want to have to ask anyone for it. Quite frankly I can already see this stirring up some issues with him. We're adults here, and if we're going to take grown up steps we need to think like grown ups. He seems to think that the sky's the limit and I can do whatever I want, but I tend to be a lot more practical. Like, we were discussing the options we'd have if I did pull out of this program. While it's what I want & it would indeed be extremely liberating, I'd also lose my income & have nothing to fall back on. I haven't been employed for nearly a year and it's too little too late to transfer to another school. So, I feel stuck & it's a little disheartening to hear him say "You're 19, you shouldn't be worried about it." As if age denotes responsibility. If now isn't the time to worry about it, when is? Because if I did what I wanted to do, which is leave this god forsaken place, I'd be looking forward to my parents guest room and a job at Urban Outfitters, at best, and that my dear readers is not a good look.
2. That funny little poem was among many in a book I picked up on a whim at the library. I realized it was due back today, despite the fact that it's collected dust since I took it out. So, during my long ass train ride I perused it and regretted not giving it attention. I got there and asked for an extention & was promptly denied. Some bullshit excuse that I tuned out after "no..". I want to own the book though, Okpaku's New African Literature and the Arts. I guess what Bongo said was true because while the title says "African" all of the contributors were indeed naija. It had an interesting essay about african anglophone literature being better than francophone because english has less rules and is more fun, as opposed to the formal and serious francais. However what I really got from it was that Nigerian literature is the best Africa has to offer. (My favorite book ever is out of Zimbabwe, but my 3rd is out of Nigeria, no it's not Achebe, but Zaynab Alkali). Man, I have to get my hands on it again. I decided that perhaps I don't like being an africana studies major. I need to find a school with a good african lit major. It's
pretty much the only fiction I enjoy.
lauren alyse belle at 9:56 PM
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Tickled Pink by secrets
Pop pop never had a job that required him to go on any trips, but in the event that he was going to a car show over night or doing some favor for my out of state dwelling brother, this was me. I found this image on postsecret & I was like "hey, me too!".. Except I'm not white. At any rate, my mama is comfortable. I'm kinda boney maroney (her words, not mine) and I tend to elbow/kick her in my sleep. But even when I come home nowadays I wake up with her in my bed. It's probably because my dad snores though. Anyway, I be missing my mama!
So, I'm going home on Wednesday. I decided yesterday on a whim but I've had enough of NYC and I'd rather be with family and friends. Plus, I'm avoiding the negative energy I may run into at the re. I'd rather spend the holiday with people that matter. Besides, I don't like being alone in new york. It's tolerable, but everything I do alone I think about how much more fun it would be if it was with him. Simple things like grocery shopping and long train rides. I'm over it. So, I'm going to Cincinnati & possibly Washington from there (long story)..if not, then I'll be back here in time for a study abroad and then he should be here. I'm always looking for an escapism from my loneliness, that's why i'm in nyc after all. Wow, I'm getting emo.
Anyway, my trip home is between me and my mother. We're gonna bust a Punk'd on my dad. Like, I'll hide in his closet and be like oops bow suprise! He'll enjoy that. Additionally, I may as well say HAY BOO cause my mom reads my blog now. However, I don't foresee that changing the way I write because I don't think she cares half as much as I think she does. I hid tattoo's and denis for years and when I finally told her all my secrets she was like yea, i know.
Whatever.
lauren alyse belle at 8:48 PM
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
today was fun
i really enjoy spending time traveling through brooklyn above ground. most of my voyages are subterranean so a lot of times i get lost walking around or following directions that don't involve a certain train stop. i'm hardly ever in a car, unless it's a cab, and thats rare. but today jasmine rented a car so she could drop off some cable boxes in canarsie. yes, its serious enough to rent a car. it's in brooklyn but its mad far out. it's the reason I don't have cable in my room now. so, i was amped to go out there with her & her room mates (what up royce & sean) because a) i love road trips, b) i love being in cars in brooklyn and c) i would like cable in my room, even if my tv is so small i strain to see subtitles. Anyway, we got out there and it was closed. people were still inside working but they just didnt acknowledge us. finally someone came to the door but he blew her off. all he needed to do was take the freakin boxes. no luck with that. we went to dunkin donuts & royce got a coolata. i was fronting like i didnt want one but im still thinking about it now. that shit looked delicious.afterward we had an adventerous night that included seeing a maybach or whatever the hell that fancy dancy car is called. yet another jigga encounter. maybe next time i'll see beyonce as well cause lord knows i don't really get too amped off that nigga.
today was my last day of classes, but i still have a couple of finals. my african dance one tomorrow (hardy har har), political systems of latin america-take home, due tuesday & psychology next wednesday. nothing too tough.
im going to start partying again i suppose. it's warm, i'll be bored. i need to get a job though so i can be cakey for him like he was for me. lol.
ok, good night.
lauren alyse belle at 11:34 PM
Sunday, May 14, 2006
hide & seek
i don't believe you're ever too old for it.It's not like it gets any less fun as adults..in fact, you just have to work that much harder to find a clever spot to fit in & essentially seize the chance to let your inhibitions go. So, last night I went to Jasmines, on some really bored shit. I ran out of movies otherwise I may have stayed home. I'm lying, I just don't have anything left unwatched but The Hours, Annie Hall, Lemony Snickets & a Series of Unfortunate Events and I <3 Huckabees. In case you didn't notice the trend, some how I managed to have a queue filled with white folk entertainment. I simply wasn't in the mood. So, for the second week in a row, I called my gyal Jasmine to entertain me. What started out as an arbor mist between 2 friends turned into a drunken game of Truth (we did agree that we're too old for dare) with 7 lushes. Once we sobered up just enough to be hyper, we played hide and seek. I was the it girl..and thats not a good look.
It was mad fun though. lol.
Other than that, I finally watched Jump Tomorrow. Yea, I know..took me long enough, but shit, I wasn't able to find it anywhere..except blockbuster.com, of course. It was very cute and funny. Even if I was thinking "sell-out ass nigga" in the back of my mind. Very quirky & fun though.
Also I watched "Happy Endings" & it sort of confirmed my appreciation for Maggie Gylenhaal and in a nut shell, sort of shocked me. I wasn't expecting that.
And now..I'm tired.
But I want to share this, yesterday I realized I very readily can channel my inner 65 year old black man from south carolina who likes a big girl in latex and whose past times include working on cars and going to church to pick up women. i've named him jackson. cleatus is simply too stereotypical.
wait til you meet my new character, folks.
lauren alyse belle at 9:07 PM
Friday, May 12, 2006
a tree falls in brooklyn
this brutal scene is a result of a storm & is in front of my house. When I saw it, " a tree falls in brooklyn" was the first thing that came to mind. It's symbolic of how i've been feeling lately, anyway. Ugh, I'm just so ready to go.Anyway,I spent the day doing home improvement. I cleaned out & painted my closet. It doesn't have a door so I actually should have painted it long ago. But, there simply isn't enough time in a day.
i have nothing of any real substance to say today. Except perhaps that I spoke to my sister-in-law and realized this sunday my neice will be 7. Oh. My. God. Here I am thinking she was all of 5 or something. Shit. For the first time ever, I feel old. I remember when she was born! Seems like yesterday. My oldest nephew is 15 though (*shudders*). I also haven't seen him since he was four. shit, i bet he's on myspace.
lauren alyse belle at 7:59 PM
Thursday, May 11, 2006
hey you
people are telling me they don't have time to read my blogs because they're too long (i see you ak52).. i'm not writing novels here! it's just all of 3 inches wide and right justified. sheesh.and how come nobody comments on my posts? it makes me feel boring.
not that I really care..cause I stay writing in this thing anyway.
although secretly i'm starting to consider that maybe if i wrote less frequently i'd have more useful/interesting things to say.
i secretly admire those quiet people who never open there mouths yet when they do it's profound. I'm a little too aware of how chatty & outspoken i can be..it makes me a little self conscious, however im totally unconcerned about that when im talking.
lauren alyse belle at 10:03 PM
Harlem men are too aggressive
I want to start off by saying that walking down 125 st. is NOT one of my favorite past times by any stretch of the imagination... But it's a convenient stop commuting home & it's where my blockbuster of choice is located. It's next to HM. The thing is, the people who live in this area in Harlem have limited interest in the movie's I want or the clothes I'd wear..so I never have much trouble finding what I want.At any rate, unlike the men in brooklyn who tend to compliment while hollaring, I was approached (or yelled at) by several different men who all expected me to be impressed with there tough mannerisms and harsh words. Like, they were straight up hollaring, literally. I walk around looking tough, no eye contact, no facial expression.. I don't want to give anyone the oppurtunity to make any advances, so I attempt to look as uninterested in anything as possible. So, one dude is like "Bitch why yo face so long? You can gone stretch it out so mo, I got somethin for ya." Quite frankly I didn't get it.. I thought perhaps he was talking about his little penis or a glock or who knows, all I know is it was a really odd thing to say but his friends just ate it up. Any way, I simply proceeded to head toward my destination (sisters restaurant, best yams ever) and forgot about them. I came outside from eating and there they are. His friend immediately is like "there she go, lame ass bitch". I'm feeling conflicted, but I'm never a pussy.. and i've ignored them long enough. Finally, I'm like, "I'm lame? Yall are following me around, some BITCH who isnt thinking about you, go find some chicken head to harass" and they get really angry & I'm apprehensive, but i'm thinking..they wouldn't hit a woman would they?
Then, like clockwork, a cop appears & they all sort of disperse. He asks if something is wrong & I simply said "no." and kept it moving. Pissed (and scared) as I was, I wasn't about to give any white pig a reason to fuck with a *arg* brotha.
More observations. Theres a shit load of braid shops on that street. Sisters were sitting outside trying to lure customers in. I was SHOCKED & HORRIFIED when they were trying to pull me in talking about braids. FInally i asked one last "how the hell would you braid my hair" & she sweetly replies, "Honey, I could braid a fade". Africans. hahaha.
I decided what my next tattoo will be. A snake in upright position, going up from ankle to calf. As terrified as I am of snakes, I like them in theory. They shed there exterior, yet stay the same. I can definately relate. Plus, Zora Neale Hurston's "Sweat" is one of my favorite short stories & it involves a man's terrorization of his wife with a snake, which ends up biting and killing him. Now I just need a good image.
I'm skipping class right now. It's one of those classes that if I were to be late, I may as well not go. I couldn't find anything to wear..for an hour I tried this and that & now my rooms a mess and I'm still looking bummy. Tonight I have my final in African dance & afterward, dinner with the President, vice, provost, deans, etc. not really looking forward to that. But, it's the reward for my hard work I suppose.
I hate mothers day, it made me realize how much I miss my mama :(
(I secretly want to move back home)
lauren alyse belle at 7:56 AM
Monday, May 08, 2006
I'm having a pretty rotten day
I thought after watching an hour long girlfriends my melancholy would absolve. Those 4 little ladies just do it for me. One of the positives about moving to NYC is that upn plays it twice daily. However, with the merging of channels, I doubt I will enjoy such luxuries after a while. Plus, today's episode was rescheduled (only for NY residents, apparently) until after ANTM on wednesday. Thats cool I suppose, a double whammy on wednesday..but what about today?I was really looking forward to it. I haven't smoked in a couple of days either. I came to an obvious, yet new conclusion. It's a lot easier to stop smoking when you simply can't afford it. My bank account is finally catching up to my life. I am a broke college student, after all. I have just enough $ to buy a metrocard & to buy lunch through the week. Those things aren't negotiable, cigarettes are. Now, of course I could buy fiddy cent loosies, but I find it's easier to last a whole day if I simply don't start in the morning. Three days so far, and luckily (sort of) I won't get paid until Friday. On the other hand, we got a problem Houston. If I don't have something sent to ma dukes prior to friday, she'll either pitch a bitch or cry. Either way I have to figure out some contingency plan just in case my father isn't cooperative. What ta do?
Sacrifice something sweet to the mother? I wonder how my creole relatives would feel about me actively studying voodoo. Who cares. It's extremely interesting
unlike whatever protestant secular thing they're into now days. seventh day adventist, apparently. My brother's mother is way into that shit. Sometimes I secretly judge my father.
Here's something I bet you didn't know. Me & Koku are directing a movie of our own. It's called, Roll Back Prices: My Life as a Wal-Mart shopper. Ok, maybe I made that title up..however I'm willing to bet it's something just as ridiculous. We both took footage of our road trip to Long Island & subsequent shopping. She's in the process of editing it. BET or TVone should give us shows. I'll be a black, female Andy Miliokanis any day. Anyway, ready for a trailer? Knowing Ko, when's it's editted & complete, it'll be funny something terrible.
I really enjoy eating kiwi's with skin but afterward my tounge burns. yikes.
ok, all's well the end's well. I feel a little better right about now.
I've went ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGG a couple of times & blocked all of the right people on AIM.
mark ass niggas.
lauren alyse belle at 7:13 PM
Sunday, May 07, 2006
fuck dem poodles!
I got a little bit tired looking at that hot pink mess & pixelated poodles. A new template was in order. And you all know I'm perpetually changing (just look at my hair, which I dyed fire engine red today).. so the blog was next.Especially since I write in this thing consistently lately, it may as well look the way I prefer...simple.
Plus the bee is cute, and I like cute, but not too cute. Let us not forget that cute likkle thing will sting you.
Anyway, this weekend has been nice. I spent hours upon hours perfecting my essay & power point for a presentation in front of the honors committee on tuesday. The assisting professor wanted it submitted to him by thursday so I'd have a couple days to revise & things. I gave it to him friday, but hell, it's damn good. Plus this'll be easy for me. I love presenting things that nobody really knows about, and the professor i'm working with doesn't even know much. i'm discussing religion in revolutionary cuba: spirituality in a lay state. The class is political systems of Latin America, so it was a bit of a hastle getting approval to do this subject anyway. I think most of the resistance stems from the fact that my professor is indeed an expect on cuba, however atheist, and quite frankly knows very little about my topic.
oh well. wish me luck..I sorta kinda wanna knock em dead with this one. It's my chance to prove how smart I am, or rather how smart I can convince others I am.
Yesterday I went to Jasmine's house warming. It was nice..hadn't seen her in a while. She's looking great, lost a little weight in the right places & her new place is dope. Her cute little Ivorean room mate was fun & spoke a little with me in french. Her name was Tanya, pronounced Tan-ya, as opposed to Taan-ya, which struck me as odd all around. Tan-ya was a white thing, I thought. Aside from that, there was a handsome "blasian" guy there who my room mate was chatting up for a minute. I pulled her aside on some ICU shit & encouraged it. However.. after all of 10 seconds of dialogue with him I realized he was gay and wondered if she was oblivious. Well, it was more or less denial I suppose. Turns out he was bisexual. You know, I try to be as open and understanding as possible to sexuality, but I really don't think I have it in me to consider dating a bisexual man. I mean, he'd be all "honey, your hair is SO CUTE!" and i'd be like..ugh. I like my men to not notice my hair. Compliments make me uncomfortable so bi-boys, no thanks.
Today was thee most unproductive of all. I got so bored & hungry at one point that I went for a walk that wouldn't end until i ran into a wendy's. Its important to understand that a) I had no idea where the nearest one was b) the direction i decided was random and c) i felt pretty pathetic doing it. I got lucky, I picked the busiest intersection around me and went south. I ended up walking maybe 2 miles into flatbush I guess.. the place looked like Ohio. Desolate. I got my 10 nuggets & bounced.
This older woman asked me, "Can I give you some love letters from jesus?" I casually said "No thank you, ma'am" and yet she still went on and on about my soul, eternity, concern, spirituality. I wasn't responding but she got so annoying that I didn't want to wait for the bus & trekked back another 2 miles. In retrospect, perhaps a love letter would have been nice.
Jesus is my boo.
lauren alyse belle at 7:50 PM
Friday, May 05, 2006
embarrassing mispronounciations
1. Once upon a time in primary school I was picked to read aloud. The subject, Ancient Egypt. I was confronted with the reality of a new word. One I hadn't seen before, but seemed to be relatively easy to say. D-Y-N-A-S-T-Y. I don't remember the exact sentence, but I do remember the snicker of my teacher when I said something to the effect of, "The Die-Nasty lasted for x-amount of years. How was I supposed to know the dyn sound was connected.2. 8th grade, a few weeks before Twilight Ball. I was geeked to go to this jr. high dance, and estatic when I finally got my ticket. This one is perhaps a little more embarrasing, but so be it. I was a 13 year old loser who was forced to study the dead language*. I recall reading the ticket and asking my mother "What's a whores-devours." She looked pretty perplexed, she couldn't even begin to answer my ridiculous question. So, she looks at the ticket & responds "Fool! That says "hors d'oeuvre!" and she proceeded to call my father into the room so he could join her in making fun of me.
3. Speaking of Latin*, once upon a time I was on the bus with Dominic, the cute white boy flavor of the week, and we were reviewing latin vocabulary. I saw "foresee" and had one of those moments ( I know it's not just me) when a word you're familiar with just doesn't seem right. I starred at it for a moment and finally said, "What the hell does for-essy mean?". Needless to say, he judged me.
Wait, I feel really obligated to elaborate on this. There have been times when I wrote out something as simple as "people" & it just didn't seem right. I can't make sense of it.
4. Aside from my having to make a conscious effort NOT to pronounce the "u" in Antigua, I think thats about it.
And with that said, I just drunk some mango nectar & it went down the wrong chord. *cough* I'm *choking* out *gag*
shit.
(denis, blog.)
lauren alyse belle at 9:07 PM
this summer
i'd like to visit a city that i haven't yet.i haven't really been to the left coast, aside from arizona 3 years ago. phoenix was a shitty little place.
i'm up too early...under no circumstances should i be blogging at 9:38 AM.
besides, I have plenty of school work to do. how boring.
lauren alyse belle at 6:32 AM
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
i wish he'd blogged
we had an agreement. i wouldn't blog until he did. he needs to be pushed to do these things, i on the other hand, need little more inspiration to write a blog than a camel & an idea. i'm proud. i have many ideas and dreams i'd like to see actualized, but i think i'm a little more moved than i may have conveyed that he's doing this. i love to see people working at something they're passionate about. i draw inspiration from it.(and thank you afkap for bringing him some inspiration!)
i just hope he's safe.
but before i become the worrisome girlfriend, i'll digress.
since when did cincinnati become so gully? everytime i speak to my friends they're talking about how dangerous it is & thanks mr. t.i. with your wayne head looking ass for inciting the rebels. shoot out on the high way, alright. everyone has a theory about why it's getting so bad, but my own personal stance blames hip hop. something i hate to do but hey. i personally witnessed too many of my middle class, gifted, educated peers turning towards street life just for the sake of seeming real. like, i'm talking about half the boys i grew up with here. i'd see more and more of them on the corner as i came home from school through out the years. everyone wanna be ghetto but nobody wanna be poor..or something like that.
i love the "not about love" video. fiona's amazing. i wonder why it's not more popular, it's a dope concept..maybe the guy is too funny looking and old for the trl crowd. hell, maybe her audience is just more mature in general. perhaps i wouldn't have liked her at 12 if it weren't for the criminal video being decked with half naked white bitches. it always reminds me that i have terrible posture though.
i was always the tallest girl in class. the boys teased me and called me amazon, something i should have embraced but hey. now i'm paying for that shit with my curved spine and perpetual slouch. it actually hurts to sit up straight sometimes.
i'm real ready for school to be over. luckily, most of my papers and things were already due & i reckon the finals will be pretty easy. i'm not stressed necessarily, just ready to be free. too bad I may have to attend the glorified summer camp for honors students. i just can't win.
it's weird to speak openly with my parents about my formerly private love life. they seem a little bit too accepting of things. they're like whatever you're smart enough to figure things out, just finish your degree.
will do.
lauren alyse belle at 9:00 PM