Friday, June 30, 2006

Ok, so I still don't like Gnarls Barkley..

but I may have a new respect for cee-lo.
I've had his perfect imperfections lp for quite some time..never gave it any play though.

I uploaded it into my itunes & just figured i'd randomly hear it mixed in with everything else.

Well..I love "Country Love" & I'm sad it took me so long to listen to it.

Anyway..I passed my dear mother the link to bongo's blog a while back.. some how my dad came across it today, said he was looking through the history to find a link to something and ended up there. He called me up like "guess whose blogs I read today? You & denis's(denis'?)".. I'm like oh great. It's not that I don't want my parents reading this, because I really don't talk about anything. I mean by now they're well aware that I drink and curse like a sailor. But it's one thing to know, it's another to read about...repeatedly. But he loved his blog and that made me smile.

Last night a psychic read my palm. He was so on point that if I had any doubts they're out the window. He said:
-whats with your irregular period? ( i dunno dude!)
-you just came from a funeral (yea, unfortunately. rip.)
-you messed up in school, get it together! (yea, yea)
-your love is in another place, that appears to be dangerous or wartorn (*snickers)
-you're not a native new yorker and you're dying to get out (basically.)
-you've been conscious of your negative energy lately (very true)
-theres someone with a J around you, watching you (julia's my grandmothers name)
-you got into a fight with your good friend, forgive her (sorry naomi, boo)
-theres something up with cell phones (me, anthony and jasmine have had to replace our phones this week)
-a friend of yours is a nurse, she owes you something (khadi, take my fucking movie back to blockbuster before they fine me)

needless to say..I was a bit disturbed.

I mean, this dude knew my life!
I hate him.

lauren alyse belle at 8:47 PM

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Tuesday, June 27, 2006

back to ny

So..as I mentioned in my last entry, I didn't know how long I'd be in Ohio.
Well, rewind to Thursday, I find out that I have a ticket to Jay-Z on saturday, so fast forward to Friday, I schedule my flight for the next morning and boom, I'm gone.

My dad didn't even know I was leaving saturday morning. It didn't even occur to me to tell him..I was just sort of like, well, I don't live here..so why would it be weird to leave?

Saturday was hectic, got into JFK at 1, showered and chilled until about 6 when I went to Koku's with Dennis and Jasmine to pregame. We finally got to Times Square..drunk as fuck and ready to partay. It was cool, I'm not a huge Jigga fan but it is what it is.

Yesterday was Gay Pride. Not really much to talk about there. I mean, homosexuals at large aren't a very cohesive group.. I guess the common denominator is queerness, but thats about it. Even the parade was segregated. Aside from that, it was raining cats and doggies.

The highlight was probably riding my bike home from Bedstuy.

Today I rode out to Fairway, the supermarket in Red Hook, with Ben. You could walk out on a pier and see the statue of liberty. I got a shit load of interesting groceries that no bodega around here would ever come to see. So far I've made bowtie pasta with argentianian pesto (main difference is it includes flakes of red pepper) and arrabiata sauce from scatch. Topped it off with spicy italian chicken sausage and ended up with some banging meal. I also made some salsa because the tomatos would have went bad, but I over did it with the vinegar. I also made a mixed bean soup, but I realized that maybe it was quite necessary to put some sort of meat in the stock. It tastes too..boho.

I've also actually been learning a lot from my online class. It's basically focusing on african masks.

So, when I'm not getting my nerd on or riding my bike or cooking something random, I'm probably drinking and/or watching judge shows.

Same shit different day!

lauren alyse belle at 12:14 AM

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Wednesday, June 21, 2006

the stillness..

is something i miss about my hometown.
I happen to live in an area that is urban & very much lower middle class. It's 50% white & 50% black, household incomes ranging from nothing to about 200k. You can find a little bit of everything in madisonville, mansions to projects, all within the same block.
Our home is antibellum & victorian. The first in the area, rumored to be the main home on some what of a plantation (although Cincinnati was the first free city one reached from the south). The attic obviously was a sort of quarter..but who knows.
The street is dead end & while there are a few other homes on the street, it's relatively quiet...almost eerily. I sat outside smoking my squares & realized that I miss the clarity..it allowed me to think and reason. Until the thing that I don't miss at all reared it's ugly head..critters!
I can't even recall seeing a spider in NY. Sure we have our share of cats, rats & roaches, but not much else..
In a matter of five minutes I saw a racoon, possum & countless insects with way too many legs. Eww!

Anyway, it's good to be home (again). You know, sucks for it to have been under these circumstances but I'll never be mad about seeing my parents & enjoying good food. Although I haven't even had any of mama's cooking since last time I was here i hooked up some of jolena's smashing moqueco & my dad's fallen in love. He practically had the ingredients on the table as soon as I came home.

In other news, my display screen on my razr is cracked. My phone still functions but i can't see anything, including texts. I'm going to get another one tomorrow I think but in the mean time, it's a little shitty. I mean it's my main vessel of communication with the boy, so..ehh.

Speaking of which, he's not blogging & I understand why..but that doesn't make it any less shitty. So, blog man! Or atleast post some damn pictures.

Anyway, I'm in the nati indefinately (school starts July 5th, so i don't have to be back until then. I say to say, who knows, I may not have anything to post about for a while..we all know how boring this place can be.

(I love it.)

lauren alyse belle at 9:17 PM

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Monday, June 19, 2006

i'm not doing anything

some of you all are probably tired of hearing that.
since my class is online & i have no other commitments this summer, i really haven't been doing anything all day. Watching judge shows & procrastinating. Well,that was until I got my bike.

Koku's situation is the same.. we were actually talking about getting jobs just so we have a reason to wake up. Then it occured to me that I could get a bike & we could ride around Brooklyn all day. Well, I did. And we have. And thats really all I've done in the last week. It's probably all I'll do until later this summer.

It's been great fun. I got it on thursday & since it was my first time on a bike in maybe 10 years, I was looking a little stupid at first. You know the expression, "it's like riding a bike", something that means you can't forget how to do it. Well, thats a motherfuckin lie. But, I had to remember quick cause we were at a busy intersection as soon as we stepped on the street. I did pick it up relatively fast and we rode to Williamsburg, maybe 2 miles away, and had mexican.
Then Friday we had some crazy notion we could ride out to Manhattan Beach (in Southern Brooklyn, close to Coney Island) which was 8 miles away. It actually wasn't even a terrible ride. We made it in maybe 2-3 hours, but whose counting.
It was pretty amazing to make it out there. We were so proud. It was like a different world out there.. reminded me of suburban cincinnati (or anywhere with real suburbs for that matter). I mean, there surely aren't any 2 car garages with private basketball courts in the BK I know. But as you can see from the subway map image, we rode out.






We didn't get there until 7 & the sun was already going down. Operation tan:unsuccessful.
There were so many shells on that beach. The only other beachs I have to compare it to are those on the gulf of mexicoin the yucatan & the atlantic in the same area, virginia beach & those in southern florida. Oh & in south carolina. Never before have I seen so many organisms on the shore but perhaps it had something to do with the tide level. I'm really not a fan of that shit though because there's no telling rather or not something is alive.. Like, I'm totally apprehensive about picking up shells because there may be something in that bitch. Eww!

Anyway, here's more pictures from our day.
















WE DID IT BROOKLYN

lauren alyse belle at 4:50 PM

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Friday, June 16, 2006

dealing with death

when you're away from family is some tough shit.


my grandfather passed tonight. i was out with koku, we'd just gotten back to bed-stuy after a long ass day riding bikes to the beach. my mom calls me & is inquiring about what i'm doing..but not in her usual nosey kind of way, but concerned. i'm like..i'm out and about, why? she's like i have something to tell you, call me in the morning or when you're alone. i pretty much knew when she said that so i urged her to get on with it..to confirm my suspicion.

we all pretty much knew it was coming. he's been sick for some time. the last time i was home ( a couple of weeks ago) i visited him in the hospital. i didn't really want to, simply because i hate for that to be my last memories of people. it was of my paternal grandmother and i really don't remember her being anything but bed ridden. he was sedated & mumbling, but i feel like he may very well have felt my presence and have appreciated me being there. i don't know either way, but thats what i'll live with.

man, he was really some guy though. someone who personified the pay off of hard work. totally made his way in the world with his hands & common sense. he was born in back woods kentucky, with like 15 siblings, and didn't surpass 4th grade because of his families need for him on the farm. but he left eventually for cincinnati to work at general electricity, which gave him enough to provide for the family..but he also invested and bought up tons of stocks when they were cheap. he met my grandmother when my dad was a youngin & raised him as his own. after him & grandma called it splitsville, he adopted my pops cause they had more of a bond than my pops and his own ma. really, thats a decent dude to take another mans child and raise him. i didn't even know that backstory until i was a teenager myself. he'd always treated me like his little angel and knowing that, i have nothing but respect and love for him.

i know my dad is torn up & i wish i could be there for him... or him for me.

anyway, pour some liquor out for poppie, yall.

rip emmitt wilkinson.
take good care of my grandmas!

and seriously, remember folks, make peace with your relatives before they pass. theres nothing like being able to say good bye without any regrets.

love.

lauren alyse belle at 10:53 PM

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006

i took a series of pictures

and for the first time all of them came out nice looking. my new "curtains" give me a really cool lighting. since i let darrin borrow my camera during the re & koku hasn't uploaded anything recent, i haven't had any new pictures in a while. but just in case you were wondering, i am STILL doing the sideways smirk. it works.

lauren alyse belle at 11:57 PM

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just got in

realized i haven't blogged or updated my myspace in a while. then again i haven't done much of anything at all lately. i've been feeling pretty, uh, down (c)burger pimp
anyway, i had a lil bit of an anxiety attack this morning. my mother suffers from them & i was recently thinking about them and hoping it was not something id pick up and here i was, eyelids twitching, heart racing, hands shaky, feeling overwhelmed. i couldn't fathom why, all of my stress is basically over. then again this really won't be the first time that i had a physical reaction to stress after the fact. whatever the case, i hope its out of my system.

Sooo...here's the update!
Apparently theres an angel looking out for your gyal. Things always seem to fall into place. A dean vouched for me..basically during the committee's meeting about my status they were bickering and he essentially stood up and said something to the effect of "Forget a C! Have you forgotten that this is an 18 year old girl who packed her shit up and moved to NYC? She has more balls than most of these students and her potential is so great!" Thats how the story was retold to me. But, there are still conditions. I have to take an online class on arts & civilizations and an upperlevel philosophy class with "the hardest professor in the school". Ahh, fuey. So, I must get A's in those classes to stay on scholarship. I'll do it, whatever. Two classes isn't going to break me & they don't even interfere really. Now this hardest professor business isn't going to scare me. I'll figure this dude out and if i'm not smart enough for the class, i'll manipulate my way into an A. I can do it. Me thinks.

I'm sorry for being all -Oh my god I'm moving my life is over- Its not even that i'm dramatic, i'm just tragically pessimistic most of the time. I really didn't see any way for this to work out in my favor. I underestimate how highly people think of me. which sucks cause then i feel obligated to be something.

whats funny is they were all like, yea and your incentive is that this winter instead of italy we're going to paris!
im like, oh yea? and?
and they're like, don't you want to go?
im like, ugh...maybe..
not.

oh, i reread this and by the way, i am NOT still 18. I was when I moved. It's really weird to think, I feel so...grown. Woe is me. This is my life as a tweenager.

lauren alyse belle at 11:43 PM

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Monday, June 12, 2006

I'm frustrated too.

unfortunately, saying it isn't helping me sleep any better.

lauren alyse belle at 2:39 AM

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Sunday, June 04, 2006

i just had to post about this

my laptop's battery charger is fucked, so I haven't really been online.

but, as you know, i've been enjoying the luxury of cable lately. something i've been without for nearly a year now. so, really this just means that i'm spending hours upon hours watching mtv hits. (i absolutely love parental control, btw)

anyway, a couple of months ago this girl I know from high school contacted me via facebook.com & was saying how all of my traveling & new life impressed her & she ended it with something like "everytime I see gwen stefani's 'luxurious' I'm reminded of you." Of course I didn't think anything of it because I hadn't seen any videos, especially none from culturevulturestefani.. and I have a problem adapting to this century.. I simply don't watch videos online. Denis clowns me for it because I'm always like "I haven't seen that video" as if it's not just a .com away.

I say all that to say Luxurious is the worst video ever.
I'm utterly offended.
I should cuss her out.
just kidding but not really

anyway, i have some what of an update..
a mentor/professor/advisor of mine informed me that my status won't be determined and finalized until august because so many of the committee members are on vacation. so, even though they probably will kick me out I have a couple months to worry about rent. They like to throw away $.
So, i'll be in limbo for a while but it's okay, one thing is for certain I can't stay hurr. Ohio is cool for 3 day vacations & definately made me who I am today..but nah homey.

besides, deluge has been staying in my apartment roomsitting & has apparently managed to squeeze in custom artwork on my wall, of course when he's not too busy having more fun/friends/freeshit/life than me and i've been there for a year, and when he's not scaring my boyfriend off by telling him too be careful, the girl has art of war* beside her bed. i'm just playing. i'm feeling very grateful to be blessed with punchdouble designs in my place. it'll make staying around worth it.

ok, i'm off to watch more mtv.

*addenum- i have a loved one who often doubts me. it tends to frustrate me to no end because he'll disagree with me or find fault in issues or topics that I KNOW i'm right about. Like, when I said "myriad things" was just as correct, if not moreso than "a myriad of". Or when I told him "Uchenna" is a unisex name. Again when he said he wanted to learn swahili so responded " Habari gani" & he immediately replies, I don't even know what you said or what it means but I know you pronounced it wrong...Despite my familiarity with all things pseudo afrocentric kwanzaa-esque, including that phrase.The most recent argument was over the art of war. I made the distinction, stating that the copy deluge referred to was Sun Tzu, as opposed to machiavelli & he's like, i know he wrote the prince. As if that disqualified him from writing anything else.
Anyway, the point of this is, I win.











(i still love you,lol)

lauren alyse belle at 9:00 PM

2comments