Sunday, January 16, 2005
i love this blog shit
why didn't i start earlier?i remember back in the day i had a journal. and then me and jordan had notebooks that were essentially journals that we exchanged to eachother.
i said something offensive but i didnt realize it until today.
theres a girl named damilola i know who has a jeri curl. i was at a basketball game on friday and someone mentioned her..the girl in front of me chimed into the conversation..
i said "yo why she still rockin that s curl"
the girl in front said "thats cold, why you gettin on lola like that?"
and i said "yo..shes african, i know someone in her family can braid her shit or something. you know africans can braid the shit out of hair."
the girl in front of me was like "you act like every african in america is a hair stylist."
and i said "they might not be,but they got a cousin who is"
sorry.
i didnt remember until today that the girl in front of me is ameeba and she's african. i totally forgot she was african, i may have struck a cord with her.
so.
to all my africans out there i love you.
you can braid my hair any time.
hi denis,hi amal :)
ill fry some chicken to the stereotypes
lola was always weird though. her sister goes to harvard and she was in essence magazine for being a super smart black girl. neither of them have ever been extremely friendly though.
in other news i feel bad for always dodging ryan. but i dont feel like being bothered. he always wants to come over so i can upload his music to his myspace page. what do i look like? i know hes too computer illiterate to figure it out, buthim coming over means i'd have to entertain him and talk to him for atleast 2-3 hours. lord knows when im at home i dont want company,aside from jordan who's essentially the 4th member of the doggett household. it would be better if he'd just drop the cd off. SPEAK OF THE DEVIL, he just messaged me. he's like my real life Isa..just coming out of no where like "wassup ma".
there is a guy..lets just call him x for the sake of this. he is a nice guy,but he lacks the UMPH that other guys im attracted to have. theres nothing exciting about him and he's very predictable. i dont like that. he reminds me of my dad, i bet if he was a little dumber he'd vote for bush. theres no harm in maintaining a friendship, but lately he's been pushing up on me and flirting a little more heavily than necessary. i want to tell him to dye his beard or listen to kittie and then i'll be interested. i hate to admit that, but i need something alternative to spark me. god hes so boring and perfect. he makes me feel crazy and shit.
god im done talking about that.
amal wants to start a collective blog with the gang of e-haters. i think we should call it unitedhatersofbeneton.blogspot.com hehe
i need to decide upon a tattoo by friday
23 days until my earthday
paz.
lauren alyse belle at 7:28 PM
manual to digital
literally..the ink will soon rub off my hand so i have to transfer everything on it to my blog..
monique/trung trac/trung nhi/turkey/embargos/mao zedong/rolling stones/china/porcelain/cuba/FIT/CAU/ DH Lawrence/human stain/folk dance
end.
not to self..
stop writing on hand.
lauren alyse belle at 11:55 AM
Friday, January 14, 2005
oh yea and the therapist
she was cool..nice to talk to.
but she makes race more of an issue than it is.
she also asked if i was gay.
she wondered why i dont date..
she thinks im pretty
she thinks me and my dad dont get along because he is a black man
and black men are used to being the cheif
i challenege him,and he hates that.
but yo, why does everyone wonder if im gay?
she also assumed i was poor..
or infered that..
which aint cool.
more on thursday after appointment 2
lauren alyse belle at 1:36 PM
i used to talk to myself
i'd tell him shut the fuck up! (c) doomtoday has been cool.
i had to go to school and pick up some reference books.
why? i dunno, cause its not like i'm going to study this weekend anyway. martin luther king day is a beautiful thing.. simply because i dont have school. but also because of the african culture fest. i can get cheap shea butter and nag champa there. i'll admit though, the neo soul imma african fake ass negros get on my nerves. oop.
anyway, while i was on campus my favorite bum started talking to me. he asked if i had a cigarette for him today and i said no, i stopped smoking. and he started shouting PRAISE JEHOVA...you got some money then?
after that me and mom went to international market.i stole mango phillies,castile soap,some$10 a bar belguim chocolate and ginger altoids. i bought kumquaits,fuji apples and 2 steaks. then i remembered jordan doesnt eat steak so i stole some of my moms chicken. J is coming over for dinner in 2 hours and then we're going to see mike and them play basketball. naomi is on the step team..lmao. she had zero rhythm so that should be funny. *note to self, dont let naomi in on this blog*
tomorrow khadi is picking me up after work and we're going to do shrooms.i havent done them in like 2 or 3 years, quite a while. its funny because she is muslim...and shes the worst influence on me morally. oh well.
i have a funny story, when me and my mom were at the market i was like "dang i really have to use the bathroom" and mom was like "yea, me too" and we pracitically raced to go use it. once i got in there i took a poop and felt embarrased because my mom started laughing from the next stale. turns out she was laughing because we both pooped. anyway, i walked out of the stall and a lady in line walked in. 2 seconds later she turned away and went "damn". my mom came out next and the woman went in her stale..she turned out yet again and went "oh my god." lmao..me and my mom were so embarrased. LOL.
whew that was funny as fuck.
lauren alyse belle at 1:36 PM
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
sigh
oh yea.i do need to quit smoking.
i have a lump in my breast thats really sensitive and shit. aww man, im still laughing because na told me megan said her boobs are so big that they jiggle no matter what. she got on birth control and became president of the not so little tittie commitee. loser. they'll inflate as soon as shes off it.
but yea, last night i smoked the last newport in the pack. i dont even know how i managed to pick up the habit again. i smoked in the 7th grade hardcore with my cousin aly and my friend amandas help. since then cigarettes were an occasional thing, blacks more regular, cloves occasionally. ive got to stop though. infact, im done cold turkey.
*shakes violently*
im cold.
sike naw, im cool for now but i'll feel it tonight.
i didnt make any nye resolutions.
ill make them today, 11 days late because im lazy.
1.no smoking
2.better diet--less sweets
3.an exercise plan
4.more documentation of thoughts, be it writting,art,screaming, whatever
5.being more serious about school
6.
7.
i'll leave those options open.
i really need to change my diet though. lately i've been waking up and eating a peice of fruit, drowning 2 concertas with cranberry juice, eating 3 cookies and calling it a day.
then i get home and eat some bullshit, a balanced meal because my mom cooks..but followed by ice cream and shit.
i also need to find a vitamin since i dont eat anything with calcium,iron or good bacteria. i keep getting yeast infections because of it. well, not keep..but lol i've had 2 since june.
end.
im feeling better today
lauren alyse belle at 6:42 AM
Monday, January 10, 2005
frustation
uh huh herlauren alyse belle at 6:19 PM